So this is my first blog. I've never done it before and wanted a way to start my writing. Not really trying to go public with this. It's just something for me to look back on, and for my friends to look at, probably so they can remember their time the night before. So sit back enjoy, and try to see if your life has as many awkward and funny events as me. If you don't enjoy or feel like I'm a @$#% or an !@&$* then don't bother reading anymore. Otherwise, keep reading.
My first story is just a small example of how the strangest and simplest things can make an easy task complicated, drawn out, and tiresome. Fortunately, I've had so many of these I tend to find a way around them with weird MacGyver techniques.
It's a Friday night, North East Philly. Around 9 PM. I'm sitting in my basement watching the Phills play the Braves. I'm getting kinda thirsty and am really in the mood for a beer or at least a tequila and coke. So I get into my family's '92 Toyota Camary and ride to Wawa to buy some Coca-Cola. I get back to my house to find that there's no clean cups, of course. So i start to clean a pint glass when my phone starts to ring. Of course someone decides to call me now. I answer, it's mama dukes. My brother is sick [he's currently out at a sleepover] and he needs to be picked up. She doesn't know where the kid lives, I have to call my brother. My brother gives me directions. Now remember these directions, because I followed them as is. From Springview, Left onto Pine, go down 2 streets, make a left on Chocolate [strange name for a street right?]. So I say alright and head back out to the car. I get to the car and stick the key in the door. Somethings wrong. I take a look at the already piece of shit that's actually been running good. The key lock has been totally dissappeared. It's gone. How the hell am I supossed to get into the car and pick this kid up.
I stand there for five minutes and think. Wham, MacGyver kicks me into line. I go to the garage, I grab this heavy duty flashlight. I open up the packaging [it's a brand new, unopened, so it has to work] and put the batteries in. This is in itself a complicated task, takes me 15 min. to figure it out. I get out to the car and see there's no way that I can open the door. Wham MacGyver slaps me. I go to the trunk, open it and push the back seat cushion down. I crawl through the car and open the door. I get into the car and start driving. Left on to Pine, drive for 8 blocks, NO Chocolate. I call him up. He tells me to drive the other direction, because that's the logical thing to do. Pass Kingsfield, Alburger, Chapel Hill, Beth Drive [remember these streets]. So I drive aimlessly around in the dark rain. I drive 10 blocks the other direction. The sleepovery's father is now talkin to me. I tell him where I'm at. He says 'make a left and drive down two blocks, we're CHAPEL HILL, make a left, 8th house on the left.' I hang up. CHAPEL FRIGGEN HILL? Where did Chocolate come from?
I patiently wait for my brother to get into the car. He sees my face, it's got Fucking IDIOT written all over it. He trys to get into the back seat. I'm not a chofer, I tell him up front. He gets in andI ask him to say chapel. He mumbles chapel. I now know why I made the mistake. He says I'm the one who made the mistake, I didn't follow the directions. I show him the paper I wrote it on as he talked to me. He doesn't speak. This of course because they sent me in the wrong direction to a street that of course doesn't exist.
So after 45 minutes of completing a 10 minute chore, I walk back into my house and crack open the bottle of Coke and make a hard drink. Now I just wait to wake up tomorrow and see what events happen then.
